Public policy, social issues, gender politics, religion, civitas, and other taboo topics fall under the hammer of Shava's iconoclasmic force of natural philosophy.
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ADHD
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
1:12 AM
[a woman on a board asks if anyone has experience with children diagnosed with ADHD -- her daughter's just been diagnosed]
About four years ago, a young friend of ours who we met when she was recommended as a babysitter, came over to cover my son for the evening, and she was nearly in tears.
I asked Jasmine what was wrong, and she said, basically, that she was diagnosed with ADHD, and that her mother said her brain was broken, and *damned* if her daughter was going on drugs, and just ranted and raved.
My first thought -- well, maybe my second -- was, "She can't have ADHD. She reminds me of me when I was a kid."
Now, Jasmine didn't have any other learning disorders. She was bright, personable, responsible in her own way. But she couldn't concentrate and learn things unless she liked them. She couldn't for her life live by a clock. And she was bored so easily, that it was just hard to stay still, or remain engaged, at the rate school fed her experiences.
As I said, just like me in high school.
So I went to a psychologist, and asked her, "Do I have this thing?" After many questions and some discussion, her reaction was, "Well, you fit every criteria except for one thing."
"What's that?" I asked.
"It's not a disorder unless it's disturbing and negatively impacting your life. Look, you seem to have every sign of this, but you have an amazing set of coping skills. You've managed to avoid most situations where ADHD would be a great detriment, and you've turned some of the aspects into assets."
To make a long story short, I read a great deal on the topic (I recommend Thom Hartmann's stuff highly -- it's a good starting place, from my point of view). And when I'd finished the reading, I started working a lot with parents with kids with ADHD.
Much of your experience, depending on the multiple diagnoses, will depend on your attitude about what this means.
American schools don't deal with kids with ADHD well at all. This is not to say your child is uneducable, or dumb, but she may not learn in a class of 30-40 kids where everyone is supposed to sit down and shut up for 45 minutes at a time.
As a result, it can be hard to retain the self-esteem to believe that you will be ok, in that situation. She'll need a lot of support, and although quality time is good, attitude is crucial.
I'd encourage you to check into neurofeedback therapy. Most people with ADHD exhibit the kinds of brainwaves as a dominant pattern that most "normal" folks only would experience in dreaming. We are creative, but spacey [I'll address this more in another post later on...]
But when we are engaged in something we love, we are creative and more intense than any normal person can manage to be at all! Turn this into an asset for your daughter if you can!
A child with ADHD may not have an easy time in life, but she might accomplish great things. Here's my resume. I've been nominated by Portland Business Journal as a candidate for Woman Entrepreneur of the Year. I write an average of perhaps 2000-3000 words per day, often in addition to my demanding work, and I do a reasonably good job as a single mother. This is one picture of an adult (probably) with ADHD.
Have hope, understand that the quality of you child's character doesn't come out of either a diagnostic model, nor out of a pill bottle.
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