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Unpopular Nonfiction
by Shava Nerad
 

looking forward

Friday, February 25, 2005 11:47 PM  
Since March, I've moved at least four times. It's hard to count. My life lately has been dominated by a move back to the east coast. Part of the impetous for this move is my mother's health -- I want to be within a few hours of seeing her in her declining years. She is 85, and in failing health.

Part of the impetous was a disillusionment with west coast culture -- or my fit with it.

I have to say that since arriving in Boston perhaps a month ago, I've received more male attention than in four years in Portland, Oregon. Not that that is my primary indicator of my cultural fit, but I won't turn it down either. In the more-or-less intact circles I left fifteen years ago, a smart, articulate, geek-proud, social woman with both high business and culinary skills seems to be more of a treasure than a freak.

I think I'd forgotten how that felt, really.

Just going back to a big old white frame church with a fat rumbling pipe organ and real pews... Does my heart good. And when I pull out my knitting at church services, no one blinks, and the minister does not ask me to not bring needlework again (as happened when I moved to Eugene, Oregon).

And although I still am looking for work, I'm finding my old MIT networks are coming to bear on my problems. My son is living with his godmother in Chelmsford, and my dog is with an old dear friend in Cumberland, RI, and I am with another friend in Newton. My current goals are to find the permanent job with benefits and be in our own place (possibly with housemates) with child, dog, and self, by the start of school next fall.

Much to my amazement, my degrees of separation are very small even to new people I meet. For example, I spent the evening at a new friend's house tonight, at an every-other-Friday gaming session. I was there two weeks ago, too. The game is run by my friend Franz, who I used to game with 25 years ago. But my hostess, it turns out, is the sister of one of my dear friends in Seattle, which I just discovered last night.

All this is hardly coherent -- but it's hard for me to come up with any orderly recap of this past year, and I suspect my focus will be looking forward. It's hardly been a good year. But I hope for better times to come, if not already in the making.



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